Monday, October 09, 2006


"I’m not comfortable with fear.” I read this in a comment on another blog; it was written by a blogger called “Peppylady.” I am not comfortable with fear, either.

I decided that fear is very big and nasty and is responsible for much more than we realize.

Here are some things fear does to us:

It stands between us and our self-expression. It keeps us from saying things we want to say or that we feel we should or could say. That covers any number of situations, from when we should stand up for ourselves to when we should ask for help or try to explain something or find out about something we need to know. We don’t know what to say, and so we often say nothing. We often find it is easier to complain or express anger than to say something complimentary, kind, or loving. We have trouble saying, “I love you.”

Therefore, it stands between people, preventing good relationships. When we hold out a tender part of ourselves to another, offering love, risk is involved. A little voice says to us, “What if he doesn’t say he loves me, too?” We find it more comforting to stay safe and just not make the offer.

Because fear prevents good relationships, it keeps us from showing love to our children and our spouses and other family members. We build walls—protective covers to keep ourselves from being hurt. We are afraid to take the risk of loving. We listen to that mean little voice saying “Don’t let him hurt you.” Our children grow up angry and resentful—and full of fear, themselves. It is less risky-feeling to lash out in anger than to speak of love. We cannot forgive, and so hurts may build up for years.

Then when we get thick walls built around ourselves, we can’t let ourselves feel emotion. And we can’t, therefore, feel other people’s hurts. We are too preoccupied with being sure we are treated right to be able to reach out to help someone in need—even people we love.

The Bible says, “There is no fear in love. Instead, perfect love drives fear away. Fear has to do with being punished. The one who fears does not have perfect love” (First John 4:18).

I used to think that meant when people loved each other perfectly, there would be no fear. I thought if people could just get to that point of loving unselfishly, fear and intimidation would be gone.

But I found out not many years ago through praying, reading the Bible, and studying that, instead, it is talking about the perfect love of God. God is love. And when his Spirit lives in us, his love is what sends fear away. We don’t have to fear anything. He is God of peace, understanding, and love—not darkness and fear.

He is real. And he is powerful—more powerful than forces of darkness—and very loving.

The picture is from this web site:


amy said...

What a great post..Thanks for sharing your blog with us and thanks for stopping by

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