Sunday, May 04, 2008

What to Do about Anger?

Today I’m borrowing from Max Lucado’s UpWords Weekly E-Mail Devotional .

Max is very concerned—as we all should be—about the anger we see so much of today. He says anger becomes a tremendously explosive force, even built up little by little; rage is quite destructive. What can we do about it? Here’s his answer:

We can’t deny that our anger exists. How do we harness it? A good option is found in Luke 23:34. Here, Jesus speaks about the mob that killed him. “‘Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.’”

Look carefully. It’s as if Jesus considered this bloodthirsty, death-hungry crowd not as murderers, but as victims. It’s as if he saw in their faces not hatred but confusion. It’s as if he regarded them not as a militant mob but, as he put it, as “sheep without a shepherd.”
“They don’t know what they are doing.”


And when you think about it, they didn’t. They hadn’t the faintest idea what they were doing. They were a stir-crazy mob, mad at something they couldn’t see so they took it out on, of all people, God. But they didn’t know what they were doing.

And for the most part, neither do we. We are still, as much as we hate to admit it, shepherdless sheep. All we know is that we were born out of one eternity and are frighteningly close to another. We play tag with the fuzzy realities of death and pain. We can’t answer our own questions about love and hurt. We can’t solve the riddle of aging. We don’t know how to heal our own bodies or get along with our own mates. We can’t keep ourselves out of war. We can’t even keep ourselves fed.

Paul spoke for humanity when he confessed, “I do not know what I am doing.” (Romans 7:15, author’s paraphrase.)

Now, I know that doesn’t justify anything. That doesn’t justify hit-and-run drivers or kiddie-porn peddlers or heroin dealers. But it does help explain why they do the miserable things they do.

My point is this: Uncontrolled anger won’t better our world, but sympathetic understanding will. Once we see the world and ourselves for what we are, we can help. Once we understand ourselves we begin to operate not from a posture of anger but of compassion and concern. We look at the world not with bitter frowns but with extended hands. We realize that the lights are out and a lot of people are stumbling in the darkness. So we light candles.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Fear




"I’m not comfortable with fear.” I read this in a comment on another blog; it was written by a blogger called “Peppylady.” I am not comfortable with fear, either.

I decided that fear is very big and nasty and is responsible for much more than we realize.

Here are some things fear does to us:

It stands between us and our self-expression. It keeps us from saying things we want to say or that we feel we should or could say. That covers any number of situations, from when we should stand up for ourselves to when we should ask for help or try to explain something or find out about something we need to know. We don’t know what to say, and so we often say nothing. We often find it is easier to complain or express anger than to say something complimentary, kind, or loving. We have trouble saying, “I love you.”

Therefore, it stands between people, preventing good relationships. When we hold out a tender part of ourselves to another, offering love, risk is involved. A little voice says to us, “What if he doesn’t say he loves me, too?” We find it more comforting to stay safe and just not make the offer.

Because fear prevents good relationships, it keeps us from showing love to our children and our spouses and other family members. We build walls—protective covers to keep ourselves from being hurt. We are afraid to take the risk of loving. We listen to that mean little voice saying “Don’t let him hurt you.” Our children grow up angry and resentful—and full of fear, themselves. It is less risky-feeling to lash out in anger than to speak of love. We cannot forgive, and so hurts may build up for years.

Then when we get thick walls built around ourselves, we can’t let ourselves feel emotion. And we can’t, therefore, feel other people’s hurts. We are too preoccupied with being sure we are treated right to be able to reach out to help someone in need—even people we love.

The Bible says, “There is no fear in love. Instead, perfect love drives fear away. Fear has to do with being punished. The one who fears does not have perfect love” (First John 4:18).

I used to think that meant when people loved each other perfectly, there would be no fear. I thought if people could just get to that point of loving unselfishly, fear and intimidation would be gone.

But I found out not many years ago through praying, reading the Bible, and studying that, instead, it is talking about the perfect love of God. God is love. And when his Spirit lives in us, his love is what sends fear away. We don’t have to fear anything. He is God of peace, understanding, and love—not darkness and fear.

He is real. And he is powerful—more powerful than forces of darkness—and very loving.


The picture is from this web site: http://www.fotosearch.com/photos-images/fear.html